Monday, January 31, 2011

The World Turns On a Dime

After much thought, and even hearing the boxes story, I have decided to go with the angel, I say mostly cause I need all the help I can get. But to remember my dad, my best buddy pal, as we would say to each other, though he did tell me on several occasion that Sadie our doxie was his only friend in the world.

My biggest problem now is the size, not the pattern, I am trying to picture it in my head when they say, from the side of the head to the back of the head.

I am a visual learner, I need to see in order to learn, and I teach that way when I sub.

I have done so many mystery kals, I will follow blindly till the pattern is done, but I need a start and end point.

Like when you get directions to go somewhere, people say take the freeway get off at route 5, go three miles north, turn left at Decator Drive and it is three fourths way up the street. Will never find it.

But say, take the new freeway, get off by tire shop, turn left till you see the house with the pink flamage, turn left there, go till you see the house with the green truck and you are there.

Like I have said before, I just plan to follow Meggie blindly till the end of the Kal.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Boxes or Stockinette

Boxes or stockinette, boxes or stockinette that is the question, whether it is better to do boxes and suffer the purls and knit stitches...

Or just go with plain old stockinette.

Well, we found out today what the clouser is, a pannel for the boxes and an angel for teh stockinette back slope.

Well, I figure I can use all the help I can get, also it was mention it could be like a family angel looking out for you, and I thought about my dad who passed away a little while ago. Almost two years now, and I still miss him, still can hear him.

I was the one that found him the night he passed away, we were keeping him home per his wishes, he wanted to die at home. And the one thing that still bothers me, is the fact that I held my hand over his mouth and with my other hand held his nose shut to make sure he was alive. I believe that is a sin I will carry to my grave.

My dad was great person, and I think that is one of the reason I am going with the angel, but in true he was more of an angel with no halo and one wing in the fire. He did so many things in his life, saw so many things, that most people only dreamed about, and when he would tell stories about it, or I would, people just look like oh yeah, another fairytale, but I know they are true.

Therefore after a lot of thought, it is going to be stockinette with an angel.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

The Journey Begins

Every journey has a start, a reason for doing something, a purpose, and sometimes a journey starts on a lark or a dare, sometimes it is to escape

We also do journey for the good of others, to become heroes, or to be able to say, hey I was there when it was happening, and I know the people who did it.

And sometimes we do the journey for very selfish reasons.

I found out about this journey by being a member of a very brave person's group on a place called Raverly. Meggie has a lot to give, and she is one of the people who sometimes give too much, but at the same time she has guard dogs, people who lover so much they would trade places with her. Some that see what is best for her, though others will sometimes disagree.

But we all need these guard dogs, people whom love us and are strong enough to say no.

But I digress, I am suppose to be talking about why I started this journey.

I did it because I am selfish, I am the one whom no one notices, and because I am the one no one notices I see a great many things. But at the same time I am the one the bully will pick on, so I get a little sensitive at times, and shy away.

The reasons I say I am selfish is the fact that I feel I have nothing to leave behind. I once heard someone say your immortality is your children. My son is autistic, my mortality is gone, and I find myself mortal, and all my dreams of the future gone. So I am kind of grabbing on to the tail of this cape in a sense, a piece of immortality of a sort.

Don't get me wrong, I would do anything for my son, I love him, and he is my world.

But sometimes in the dark of the night fears come and doubts, and decision that could of been made and were not.

But back to the cape...

I want to do it and take it to the fair, and have people say what a great job I did, I want that moment of glory, that moment of fame and being great, I want the spotlight, my five minutes of fame.

I gave up a lot for my son, I haven't dated, or really gone anywhere, and stayed home and took care of my parents, while the rest of my family went along with their lives, so I think I deserve this.

And then I come to my senses, and know this is wrong, and I am doing it because I want to, and also because I am planning some great fantasy while I knit, my mini vacations so to speak.

My fiances are not so great at the moment, so I am buying like two skein a month of the Lion Brand Fisherman, in neutral color, I checked and it will pretty well blend with other neutral colors.

Mostly now it trying to decide which pattern to use, boxes or plain, but I think I am leaning toward boxes.